Friday, December 7, 2007

Waiting Game

Been having mild contractions since Tuesday. They informed me that my contractions were 5 minutes apart when I was on the monitor and I didn't even realize I was having them. The doctor really thought I was going to have the baby soon.
Three days have passed now and some of the contractions have gotten stronger and I'm a little more uncomfortable but nothing yet. I kind of regret knowing that I started having those contractions because time is passing so so slowly.
I have had little "freak outs" where I'll look around the house and see how disgusting it is and will then have to start cleaning like a mad woman...yes, I sound like a typical 9+ month pregnant woman. The house really was bad though since I have been unable to do much from being so sick- but it is slowly getting clean. Now my attitude about bed rest is- screw it! I'm going to clean and shop and walk and whatever else as long as I feel comfortable because I know this will help get things moving. I'm resting and monitoring things.
I think part of my little "freak out" episodes is this overwhelming anxiety about labor and about being a parent. Bringing in a newborn into this house and being responsible for it just seems overwhelming sometimes. Though, just recently babies on TV- especially little newborns are looking really cute to me and I sometimes daydream about her laying next to me on the couch. I am thinking this has to be all a part of the prep work my body and mind is doing right now.
I had not anticipated having to miss so much work and keep trying to tell myself that things will be okay. I probably should have gone in today but the contractions were actually painful enough to keep me up a lot of last night so I only got a few hours sleep- this seems to be what has gotten me into trouble (meaning in the hospital) so I thought it best to play it safe and stay home. Plus, I was (and still sort of am) in the pissiest of moods today. It's like, I was up off and on last night feeling so crummy and wondering if it was time yet and then boom...it just subsides. Grrr...
So I am napping off and on today and cleaning the house. Carpet in the baby's room will be installed on Monday so at least I can focus on decorating the nursery if I haven't had her by then. That is one thing I am really looking forward to.
Man, it still gets me that I am going to be a parent literally any day now. We'll all just have to learn together. Maybe I should be reading baby books and stuff but I'm just not interested right now. I think we'll have help from friends and family as we need it and we'll just take things day by day at first and will do the best we can. We've taken baby classes and I have plenty of magazines around the house (seems like every class gave us tons of literature and we got a huge packet when we registered!)
Ah.. back to cleaning. Contractions come on every time I get up and move now so it makes me feel productive in a number of ways!!

Saturday, December 1, 2007

Oh, the weather outside is frightful

So the waiting game is on. Every little twinge is making me wonder...is this labor?
Just got over a horrendous bout of stomach flu that landed me in the hospital again. Am starting to feel better- though I don't know what better is at 91/2 months pregnant.
I decided to work on jewelry and kicked out a ton of stuff last night and this morning. Maybe I'll take some pictures and post them later.
Mr Manx is painting the baby's room and we were planning to get carpet installed this weekend but still haven't heard back from our guy. Bummer.

This morning I woke up early and decided to make coffee and work on jewelry. As I was sitting there I hear Mr. Manx's phone ring. I was hoping it was our cousin (the carpet layer) but it was not. I find out it's my mom calling his phone to tell him to not let me out of the house today due to the "black ice." Apparently my Aunt had already slid through an intersection before 9am.
So I checked out my favorite weather site http://www.weatherunderground.com/cgi-bin/findweather/getForecast?query=62704
and saw this.

Local Storm Report


12/01/2007 0920 am

Springfield, Sangamon County.

Freezing rain u0.00 inch, reported by co-op observer.


Traffic crawling and sliding in Springfield.


Traffic crawling and sliding? I have never read this before but it cracked me up.

Maybe I'll try to go out when it gets warmer. I have beads and carpet to buy!!

Monday, November 26, 2007

Hero

I was feeling pretty cruddy last night so we watched some Hero's episodes (we prefer to watch them in blocks). I went to bed shortly after we finished a few episodes and I guess I was dreaming about it in between bathroom breaks.
My life seems to consist of checking my blood sugar, checking my blood pressure, checking for fetal movement and spending the majority of my time in the bathroom due to the fact the my bladder is now pretty much a squished pancake. I have to see a high risk pregnancy specialist today so that was making it a little more difficult to go back to sleep.
At one point, I tried to clear my mind of doctor related stuff and started thinking about hero's and what I would wish my super power to be. It dawned on me that it was simply to have this baby. This seems like a super feat in and of itself. I mean the whole concept of it just amazes me (and scares me).
So, for now, this is the super power I wish for. It seems like I will need super human strength in order to do this. Seems like I need all the strength I can muster to just get through this doctor stuff alone.

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Update

Well, it's about 6am and I can't sleep. Figured I'd blog about what's been going on. Briefly, anyway.
Things have been pretty crazy lately. Went out last Saturday to celebrate and had a great time. The shower went great as well. Had a few friends come in from out of town for the shower/weekend and one very close friend flew in all the way from Pennsylvania! We got to spend some of the week with her which was awesome.

The sucky part was that I started showing signs of pre-eclampsia last week (nasty pregnancy related thing) and had to be hospitalized over night. Test results came back ok so they let me go home. Though, I just got out of the hospital again yesterday and am showing almost pre-pre-eclampsia signs now (whatever that means). So I have to take it pretty easy from now on and this is really bad because the baby's room still needs painted, need carpet put in, all the clothes washed, have to put the crib together, install the car seat and try to prepare myself for labor and delivery!

Looks like I might be looking at an induction pretty soon. The doc said if I go into labor now she wouldn't stop it. She also won't put me on blood pressure meds at this point- she'd just induce. So this has me kind of a nervous wreck- luckily, I'm too tired to be too nervous. Interesting, I'm tired- yet I can't sleep?

That's it for now. Poor Dad is worried about us- he's helping with everything and being a wonderful, supportive partner (even if his boss is not being so supportive).

Wednesday, November 7, 2007

Ginkgo

I had the privilege of walking by a ginkgo tree as it was shedding it's leaves today. Apparently, they shed all their leaves in a very short time span (sometimes in 1 day).
We walk by the tree almost
every day, but today was different. There were all of a sudden so many leaves on the ground that you couldn't even see the sidewalk. The leaves emit a very strange odor.
I've been walking at lunch around the same area for a few years now and this was the first time I was able to witness this event. We stopped for a while and looked up at the magnificent tree and watched the leaves streaming down around us. Just seemed kind of cool.

Ginkgo trees fascinate me.

Here are a few interesting facts:

The Ginkgo tree is the sole surviving species of the family Ginkgoaceae and is the world’s oldest living tree. In fact it is so old that the Ginkgo tree links us to the plant world of over two hundred million years ago. For this reason it is often referred to as a ‘living fossil’ The Ginkgo is the sole living link between the lower and higher plants, between ferns and conifers.

During autumn, the leaves turn a bright yellow, then fall, sometimes within a short space of time (1–15 days)

Extreme examples of the Ginkgo's tenacity may be seen in Hiroshima, Japan, where four trees growing between 1–2 km from the 1945 atom bomb explosion were among the few living things in the area to survive the blast (photos & details). While almost all other plants (and animals) in the area were destroyed, the ginkgos, though charred, survived and were soon healthy again. The trees are alive to this day.

There are no native ginkgoes living in the wild. All wild trees were wiped out hundreds of thousands of years ago but human intervention has saved the modern tree.

Gingko biloba is most effective as a concentrated extract, found in either liquid or tablet form. It has beneficial effects on the circulatory system, particularly among the elderly. Studies have shown it can help in treatment of their short-term memory loss, headache, tinnitus (ringing in the ears) and depression by improving blood flow in the arteries and capillaries

Monday, November 5, 2007

not so fine dining

I don't understand why Mr. Manx and I seem to be cursed when it comes to eating out? Usually he is the last person to receive his food- sometimes everyone else is done eating by the time he gets his food! Though, recently I have been the one to suffer at the dinner table. Why people would do this to a pregnant woman I don't know- they must not understand our hunger...and how overpowering it really can be!
We recently went out to Indigo since we figured there wouldn't be much of a chance for fine dining and romance for much longer (either because I'm feeling like a waddling whale or because we will have a little one that demands all our attention).
We got a table right away and he ordered the wine I suggested so I could have a few sips and we started out with these wonderful Cali rolls (which, is ok'd for pregnancy - no raw fishies) - they were as good as what we ate in Chicago and were served on a slab of cold granite...mmmm. Next, we had a salad with a really strong basalmic vinegarette dressing with cranberries and nuts (I thought the dressing was a bit too overpowering). It was served with hummus, olives, garlic and pita bread and then went on to our main course.
We decided to do split some "serf and turf" - I ordered the "turf" and he ordered the "serf"
Our waitress came out with his scallops and informed us that my meal was taken out by mistake by another waitress. She said she'd comp us the glass of wine. So we munched on his scallops for a bit but we wanted the combination so we sat there for about 5 minutes while his food got cold.
Finally my food was brought out- the steak was way more rare than I had ordered it but we were so hungry and desperate at that point that we wolfed it all down. It was very good though.
All in all, we found the dining experience to be pleasant. The sushi was awesome...everything else was good but not the best meal I've ever had- the place had great music playing, nice decor and lighting so it sort of made up for it.
It just seems like one stupid thing always has to happen.

Our most recent dining experience was one of the worst I must say. I was craving fried chicken yesterday- I crave it once or twice a year and it sounded really really good to me.
I'm pissed I even agreed to go to "Willie Mac's"... it's that new place where the ground round used to be...ugh! No restaurant has worked there for years but we were driving by and Mr. Manx suggested we try it. He actually suggested it a couple of time- I refused the first two times but I though he really wanted to go there so agreed...apparently he thought they would have good "country" fried chicken since it looked like a "country" place. Plus, they were close and I was hungry. Good intentions, bad results...
When you have 3 servers walk up to you at the same time, show your your plate and ask you if your meal looks right to you, you have to wonder what the hell you have gotten yourself into! They brought this freeze dried piece of chicken fried steak and tried to tell me it was fried chicken without the bone. No...first, they tried to tell me fried chicken wasn't on the menu- that it was actually only chicken fried steak. I corrected them and told them they both were on the menu- they made up some lame ass excuse for that one- all three of them talking at once, then they tried to pass off chicken fried steak as chicken without the bone. I cut the piece open and said no...this is not chicken...what are you not understanding? Then they tell me that they are actually out of fried chicken....WTF? Why didn't they just say this to begin with? They actually tried to pass off one food as another?

Now, fried chicken is not healthy food- I know this and already felt bad enough for attempting to eat it. I rarely have it but damn, it can taste good and it's so nice to go somewhere that actually knows how to prepare it. The shit they served at this place looked like a frozen dinner-there was no way I was eating it!

Mr. Manx had just ordered a burger and it looked safe enough to eat and I was starting to get really shaky from not eating so, once again, I had to share Mr. Manx's food until mine came out.
Luckily, I had just told them to get the crap I didn't order the hell away from me and just bring me the same thing that he ordered so we could split his and then split mine when it came out.

The most annoying part is that they charged us full price for the burgers. The poor waitress (it was her first day- there were 3-4 other servers that seemed to busy gossiping than to wait on us) got a disgusted ear full from me and I didn't even bother talking to a manager because I get a little scared of my pregnancy hormones and there was still a knife on the table...it was probably better to just leave. They'd probably only take off a few bucks and I'd have to argue with some dimwit who doesn't know how to run a restaurant...plus, the whole knife thing...

argh...thank goodness for the times we are blessed with a decent meal and decent service. Seems to be rare though.

Monday, October 29, 2007

Joy came into our lives right after Christmas last year. I had been volunteering at the shelter a lot and had been debating fostering a dog. My work closed over Christmas so I had a whole week off and thought that would be a perfect opportunity to try fostering. I went to the shelter one afternoon and walked some dogs and then asked if they had any dogs that needed fostered. They told me about a couple- one was some beagle mix that would not stop barking and I can't remember what the story was with the others but they just didn't feel right. I walked into the clinic area (where the hurt/sick or "problem" animals are) and saw this little puppy by herself in her kennel looking really sad and pathetic. They told me her name was Joy, she was about 8 weeks old and that she was from a humane investigation (really, really bad story). She was the only pup out of the litter that was ok, her brother was in a foster home and was blind from a head injury.

They told me she was a pit bull mix and said I could go ahead and take her if I wanted. So I did. Mr. Manx came home to a bit of a surprise but he knew I'd been kicking around the idea for a while- one look at her and he was all gooey.

We had a rough night with her. I didn't know whether I should expose my dogs to her so kept them pretty much locked up and she stayed in the kennel a lot. It was a long first night. I ended up sleeping on the couch and had my fingers inside the kennel since she just cried all night. She was really hot and I was worried she was running a fever so took her in the next morning. She was and they put her on some antibiotics and we went back home. She drank water like she had never tasted it before- even to this day she laps it up like it won't be there tomorrow.

I was determined to socialize her since she was a pit-bull mix from a bad, bad situation. She was extremely shy and timid- very fearful of everything at first. She quickly warmed up to our dogs though. I had to force her to let me hold her and snuggle with her.

We had some APL friends over for foster puppy "play dates" while we had her and I soon started taking to her adoptions. Man, there are some strange people that come to those adoptions. One woman started yelling at me across the store asking about her. I was just ignoring her (I do not respond to people who feel the need to yell across stores) until she came up and started asking me about Joy. When I told her she was a pit-bull mix she started freaking out saying she is mean. I looked at her like she was crazy and said this is a puppy- I don't think she's capable of being mean- in fact she's one of the sweetest, most timid puppies I've met? I suggested that maybe this was not the breed for her and that she continue to look for one that she is comfortable with and she continued to argue with me about pit bulls (argue with herself, more like because I was just trying to nod my head and do my best to not engage her- it was all I could do to remain polite). So she has to call her son who would "love" this puppy and insists that I wait for him to arrive. He arrives right before the adoption ended and seems to have no interest in the dog.

There were some very nice people that looked at Joy but no - one really interested except the whackos (I won't bother sharing the other stories!) that were either scared of her or wanted a "tough dog." The cool part was that Joy got to play with her brother at the adoptions( Stevie- like Stevie wonder) they were so similar in disposition! Stevie got adopted pretty quickly even though he was blind- we were so thrilled.
At one of the first adoptions a nice volunteer snapped Joy's picture for petfinder.com so we could start really advertising.

Now, Joy as a puppy and even to this day has always had teary eyes. In her petfinder picture, her eyes were all glossy and teary and she looked so cute! They asked me to write something up to add to her picture and I would write these extremely loving descriptions of her. I began to discover that I was writing this little petfinder description for myself because I realize I was starting to get attached. Joy started acting like a "normal" puppy, actually extremely well behaved, and really was fitting into the house nicely. Plus, Mr. Manx was undeniably in love with little "squirty"
"Squirty" was her nickname since we weren't overly fond of Joy- but hadn't found an alternative.
Well, we soon decided to just keep her because neither of us could part with her and every time I saw her picture on petfinder I cried.





Through this, I had to be tested for ovarian cancer from a large cyst the doctor found- it was months of being scared and my little puppy took my mind off my worry. Along with this, my brother went away to basic training, my Mom had major spinal surgery and was in extreme pain up until her surgery. I felt like all I did was worry and she was welcome relief.
As time progressed my brother decided that this was what he was meant to do, my Mom's surgery was a success and my cyst miraculously went away and 2 weeks after the appointment confirming my good health, I found out I was pregnant. There seemed to be Joy in our lives so we kept the name. We did alter it slightly to reflect a song by an artist that we like…Joi was another spelling of her name and it just seemed to fit when we discovered that song title- don't know why.
It now turns out that Joy is biggest of all our dogs, is a digger, and a total instigator of mischief around the house. She's also sweet as can be to all people, dogs, and cats. She is still coming out of her shell to this day and finally enjoys snuggling with me on the bed before I go to bed- she's still fine staying in her kennel which makes managing three dogs easier.
It may sound like I have a fondness for one dog over the other since I realized each post is getting longer and longer but I've discovered that with each dog, there is just more of a story to fill in. I know we never would have kept her had we known I would be pregnant so soon after but it's a done deal now. We just have a big house that is filled with lots of love and lots of fur.
I do know I'm done with fostering though!!!


Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Pictures



Here's a couple new pictures from the ultrasound I had yesterday. We definitely confirmed that she's a girl (I left out that photo)!
It was great to find out that she looks healthy and is in the 60th percentile in weight. Which is nothing to worry about. No sign of any effects of the gestational diabetes. The doctor that came in to look at the ultrasound results flat out told me my fasting numbers are not gestational diabetic- that they are normal and that I must be on the really low end of the spectrum.
She looked really cute in the brief glimpses we saw of her. Cute chubby little face.
It's nice to have good news and to see our little one. I might possibly get another ultrasound in 4 weeks if she is still measuring big- we'll see.
We didn't even think we were getting another until a couple of weeks ago so this was just an extra little bonus.
One of the images freaks me out a little bit because it looks like her eyes are open. Ultrasound images are pretty strange looking!
She looked much better on the monitor.
Those little feet keep creeping closer and closer to my ribs. Things are getting a little cramped!

Saturday, October 20, 2007

Sleep

I'm finding that sleep happens on an every other night basis lately. Probably due to third trimester woes. Recently baby was very active, I mean, very active. So active that it felt like someone socked me in the belly in one area- it was all sore and uncomfortable from her kicking the same spot over and over again. I wonder how often this will happen?
I keep thinking, here I was bitching about the women who just said "you just wait..." meaning that I'll begin feeling so miserable soon and now I'm wondering if I will begin feeling miserable now. Still, I see no need to frighten a poor pregnant woman when we already have so many worries as it is.
There seems to be good days and bad days. I really can't complain about the kicking in any serious way because it's just so cool.
The ultrasound is on Tuesday. I'm getting excited and am already dreaming about it. Well, dreaming about arguing with nurses and then my boss pops into the dream and I just get pissed and wake myself up and tell myself that I really do not have to tolerate bad nurses or bosses in my dreams since I can have some sort of power over my dreams at least!

Well, it's probably obvious that I've haven't had enough sleep because I just feel like I'm rambling today.
Wish I had something funny or witty to blog about like the other bloggers I read at 3 in the morning but I often chuckle to myself though the day about this and that and just don't have the energy to write about it later. I am glad that blogs are out there though. They often do the job of making me forget about my worries or little aches and pains for long enough to get sleepy again during my late night sleepless stretches.
Well, I got up, let the dogs out and back in, fed the cats, made coffee, tested my blood sugar (a little high for some reason) ate my breakfast- the same thing I eat EVERY day and think I'm going to go lay back down and nap. I might as well try to get in a cat nap while I can.

Monday, October 15, 2007

Zoie

About 2 weeks after we adopted Odie I got a call at work from Mr. Manx. He had to go in early and arrived at around 5Am. It was right around this time of year so it was very dark still. He told me this black dog with, what looked like, white eyes was hanging around his work and looked really freaky at 5 am. She was a very cool looking dog, but was very spooked. Anyway, being the dog lover I am, I went over there after work to check the dog out. She barked at us and acted sort of fearful and aggressive. I knew she was probably hungry and food might turn her mood around so I got some leftover lunch meat and started tossing it to her. I got to where she almost ate out of my hand but would bark at me right after she took the food so I was too scared to try anything else.
She was basically living in the back yard of the abandoned house next to his work. I'd go outside sometimes and sit by her and she would get close- but she'd stay in the fenced in part of the abandoned house (I guess she figured it was the closest thing to home she could find) with me on the other side.
A coworker of Mr. Manx would do the same thing on his lunch hour- just hang out with her between the fence. This went on for a few weeks until I get another call from Mr. Manx asking me to guess who was inside his work...I couldn't believe it. One day his coworker decided to grab a stick and threw it thinking she might play fetch. Well, that was the way into her heart. It wasn't 30 seconds after she retrieved that stick that she was a changed dog. He led her into work and she greeted everyone with wags and licks. Mr. Manx and I decided that we'd bring her home since it was a Friday and it had started sleeting outside that day. I could tell that she'd already wrapped her paws around our hearts.
I was really worried about how she would do with Odie. We finally let them go off leash and there was one short growl/bark from Zoie and they've been buds ever since...I guess they just had to work something out. Odie was still an 8 month old pup and it was obvious that Zoie had recently had puppies so maybe she took him in as her own.
We soon decided that we were going to be a 2 dog family.
(I'm waiting for the baby to kick Zoie one of these days. She loves to lay her head on my belly!)

Zoie has the most beautiful sky blue eyes that look striking against her black fur. She loves to retrieve and is obsessed with her "kong" We had to work out some food issues at first. She got a whole steak I took off the grill, a couple chicken breasts, a whole sandwich off the counter...I think that's all the big things. We soon established some basic rules regarding dog food and human food. I guess living on the streets will do that to a dog.
One really great thing about her is that she came obedience trained! She sits, stays, lays down, shakes and will pretty much do whatever you ask of her. She's the big cuddle dog I was missing.

I could carry on with many of the silly Zoie quirks but this is probably a long enough post about a dog! Maybe someday I'll list some of Zoie's peculiar habits...
Zoie loves people, especially my brother (who is in Iraq). Below are both Zoie and Odie saying their good byes the last night he was here. She's a pretty sensitive dog and I swear she knew he was leaving.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Dogs

I thought I would take some time to share what it is like living with three dogs.
So our first dog we got after losing two really, really awesome dogs in a house fire (they were our "first" dogs as a couple- this is a completely different subject though) is named Odie. He's a medium sized, white and tan terrier mix with a curly tail- kind of looks like a Jack Russell with some beagle in him- who knows, he's a mutt.
He's the smartest one of the bunch and the only male. He likes to snort when he's happy, is a snuggly little guy who loves to jump on my lap and law down like a little baby so I pet his belly- this is difficult now with my big belly! He was a little escape artist when we first got him- thankfully, we have better fence and he seems less interested in escape!
Odie has multiple barks. One actually sounds like a yodel, it is one of the funniest barks I've ever heard- he saves this bark for certain dogs we see on our walks...no clue why. Other barks are extremely high pitch and annoying- reserved for when he gets pissed off at our other two dogs (usually during fetching, when he can't catch the ball).
Odie has never been much of a "humper" (thankfully) until just recently. We have two large female dogs that love to play and wrestle in the living room. I noticed recently that Odie was not joining in the wrestling, but would get this peculiar look in his eye. I watched a little longer and saw him slowly approach them and started humping one when they were really distracted- now it doesn't matter which dog or which body part- whatever he can get away with, he'll try. This seems to be his new favorite game, which usually results in some yelling. Nice, my sweet little boy has developed humpington's disease. He's also the smelliest of the bunch. He's still my buddy though.

Each of our dogs has a sad story, but I won't share that. They have all been adopted and rescued from bad situations. I like helping doggies- whether it be my dogs, or local shelter dogs. They show you how grateful they are in many ways. I've been walking dogs at the shelter for over a year now (and attending the occasional adoption or shelter "function") but have had to give that up recently due to pregnancy. I have enough of my own to keep me busy for now!
I must start some dinner so will continue with the dogs later.

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

Darth H


So when I was like 4 or 5 years old I was Darth Vader for Halloween.
I looked nothing like this- but this picture still makes me laugh.

Saturday, October 6, 2007

Lilly pads

I decided to add some pretty pictures tonight.
We bought a crib today! Yea! It is a $500 crib that's 5 years old that was used only about 10 times or something. The woman's kid wouldn't sleep in it (he slept in her bed- is still there after 5 years). Anyway, I felt pretty comfortable buying it used under this condition. It didn't cost anywhere near $500 either.
It's nice to know our little child has a bed now.
Maybe I'll post some pictures of the house renovations at some point. We have most of the drywall up in the front room. Not nearly completed yet- but better than looking at beams of wood and wire.
For now I feel like seeing something pretty.
These pictures were taken this summer at Allerton park- one very cool place.




Tuesday, October 2, 2007

storms be a coming

I think we finally have a storm on the way. Actually, a tornado watch is out right now (along with our cat who we can't get to come in!!) but it looks like the cell is slowing a bit. I hope it is anyway, one tornado is enough, thank you (our city/neighborhood/house got hit by one a couple years ago)
Oh, how we need the rain though. The ground is dry and my allergies are in full force. Maybe the rain will get some of that crap out of the air.
Well...I guess when there is nothing better to talk about, there's always the weather. I happen to like observing and sometimes talking about weather though so maybe I'm just a weirdo. Well, I already know I'm a weirdo...

Oh, dietitian said my blood sugar numbers look great and I should start testing 2 hours after my meal- if I stay where I'm at, the doc my have me test less. I really, really think stress was a factor- but this is just me. Doctor-types don't like to be questioned too much.

I've discovered these no sugar added ice cream bars with chocolate and peanut butter- and that I can eat a slice of my favorite pizza and a big salad and my blood sugar is good! I don't want to push my luck, but it sure is nice to have some things that will satisfy those preggers cravings....mmm.
I'm hoping that I can keep up this healthy eating after she's born. It feels wonderful to know I'm giving her so many healthy nutrients because she's just growing like crazy!

It's so strange to have this little being inside of me. I can feel her getting bigger and feel like I can actually feel an arm or a leg sometimes when she moves - or as Mr. Manx likes to call it "squirms"

Mr. Manx just turned on that caveman commercial show- it sounds really stupid in the background - I have to check it out just out of morbid curiosity.

Sunday, September 30, 2007

this and that

So I went baby registering while Mr. Manx was tearing drywall down and installing a waterline (Handy-dandy husband) and decided to go with this for the nursery
It's cute. Kind of frilly, but not as frilly as some of the bedding. I'm going to look around town for cribs today and will continue checking out bedding since this isn't exactly what I have in mind. The only real benefit of choosing this is that people may buy it for us since it's in the store we registered at...and that's a pretty big benefit.
Crib shopping is really getting challenging. They are all expensive. Some very expensive.
Well, enough baby talk.

My bro called us from Iraq. I guess he's doing well and is at his permanent base now. He says it stinks- literally stinks there. I will take his word on that.
Though, he said the food has been great. He had steak and crab legs the other night...as Mr. Manx said...war is hell. Honestly, it probably is some days since he said some guy in his unit had his leg gravely injured recently so they were on "blackout" meaning no communication until the family is notified.
So if they give those guys some steak and crab legs, I know they certainly could use it. He sounded like he was doing well though, adjusting to his new existence.
It gives incredible relief every time we get a call like this. Just to hear from him.

Off to go shopping for more baby stuff. I keep dreaming of all this stuff at night- it's wearing me out! heh

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Pregnancy dreams.

I kept having the same vivid dream come back again and again last night. Given that I have to get up about 10 times a night to use the bathroom, I'm amazed that I can even fall back asleep, much less drift into the same dream.

I dreamed my husband, who I will refer to as Mr. Manx, and his dad were sent to Iraq. They had been there for 4 months and came home for a very short visit and had to leave again for 2 months. We didn’t know if they would be back home in time for the delivery since they might have to stay longer. While parts of the "reunion" were quite good, (no details, you'll have to use your imagination for that part) the parting was just awful. I kept crying and feeling the most terrible pain, fear, desperation.

I kept trying to get myself to quit dreaming about it but it did no good- it just kept coming back every time I fell asleep again sort of picking up like a story would every time I got back to sleep. The dream finally ended with Mr. Manx and his unit staying at Mr. Manx's dad's house on their last night (why, I have no clue) but he couldn't stay with me and I couldn't stay at the house- something about their unit needing to all be together or some stupid shit like that. I ended with me running down a bunch of steps and crying (pregnant- running down steps) why it's our last night- why? I finally woke myself up and could see a bit of light outside so just tried to stay awake. Man, was I happy to be awake.

I know this has a lot to do with my bro. He is probably in Iraq now- he's in the army and was sent over a couple weeks ago and has been training in Afghanistan. Last word was that he was shipping out within 2 days - and it's been over 2 days.

I wish I could shake the feelings my dream gave me but it just creeps back off and on- there's no shaking what I feel when I think of my bro over there though. Guess this is just my mind's way of dealing with fears, etc. and processing all this stuff.

One good thing is that I seem to have put the diet thing in perspective - for now, at least. Maybe when a far worse potential reality appears, it makes your current one seem much more tolerable.

I will probably be very clingy with mr manx tonight, but I doubt he will care. I'm not a super clingy person (I don't think anyway) so I'm sure he'll appreciate any extra attention.

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Trials of being pregnant.

Well, I guess my significant "other" got sick of me commenting on blogs as anonymous or "h" so he decided to set up a blog for me one night after partying at a bar. Drunk bloggin on my behalf (since I can't do the drunk blogging right now)

I wasn't sure if I wanted to have to tend to this but he did a nice job posting favorite pictures and things that represent my interests. I know I wouldn’t have taken the time to do it right now. I think part of his reasoning is that I've been a stressing fool lately and it might be a good outlet. Maybe he thinks I could find some pregnant woman with issues support group…or those with similar issues.

Anyway, on to blogging...I am officially in my third trimester of my first pregnancy as of today. I was recently diagnosed with gestational diabetes and have been having a really hard time accepting this and am very angry with my body and with the medical community at the moment.
Things are sinking in more. I just think they might be overreacting a bit since my blood sugar levels aren't that high and the dietician said I wouldn’t have even been considered GD years ago and probably would have just had a 9 lb baby. They've lowered the numbers as a preventative.

I guess this diagnosis and now lifestyle change is good in two ways:
First, I am overweight. No matter how lovely my husband says I am and no matter how short and petite I am, I am still overweight. I like food and I can't metabolize it as quickly as other people. Plus, I'm very short so I don't need to eat as much as those around me and I realize I have been eating too much (something I'm quickly learning from my new diet).

What this diet is doing is making me check portion sizes, eat from certain food groups and level my carbs through the day in hopes of keeping my blood sugar stable.

I am now at risk for "the real" diabetes (type 2) later in life so this scares me a lot…I mean A LOT. So…I am somewhat thankful that this will give me serious motivation to lose weight after the baby and I now have a dietician to help me do this. She seems to think I will soon be an expert on food and will inherently know if I am eating a balanced, healthy meal. I hope she's right and I hope I don't cheat too often. I doubt I will while I'm pregnant but it's after that baby that concerns me.
The pregnancy is what is causing my diabetes so I should be able to go back to my previous semi-healthy, but not nearly as healthy, lifestyle probably an hour after I have the baby! Pizza and coke…that's what I am telling myself is my reward for giving birth (Besides a beautiful baby…not that I don't think of that part!)

So…I hope this will help me get to an ideal weight and lower my chances of developing type 2 diabetes and probably a whole bunch of other health problems.

Second, I will know absolutely and completely that I am eating well for my unborn child with this diet. I will also get more attention from my doctor's office, who sometimes takes 2 days to call me back about potentially serious things. I now have a direct line to the nurse and dietician and they have called me more that I have called them for a change. I hope things aren't more invasive (than they already are) but I am glad that I might have more opportunities to have someone tell me my little baby is doing well.

I hope she is…I really do. In the grand scheme of things these three months of finger pricking, eating by the clock and specially designed diets will be a brief moment in time. I am just frustrated with the stress it's causing me and hope this doesn't counteract all the other work I'm doing.

Anyway, I don't know if this is a long first blog or if anyone besides my two close friends will read this but I guess I have it now and should use it from time to time.

I'd imagine it will reflect a lot of my thoughts on being pregnant and having a baby but this is a very life changing event and there really is nothing to compare to it right now.

Saturday, September 22, 2007

Welcome, friends.