this and that

So I went baby registering while Mr. Manx was tearing drywall down and installing a waterline (Handy-dandy husband) and decided to go with this for the nursery
It's cute. Kind of frilly, but not as frilly as some of the bedding. I'm going to look around town for cribs today and will continue checking out bedding since this isn't exactly what I have in mind. The only real benefit of choosing this is that people may buy it for us since it's in the store we registered at...and that's a pretty big benefit.
Crib shopping is really getting challenging. They are all expensive. Some very expensive.
Well, enough baby talk.

My bro called us from Iraq. I guess he's doing well and is at his permanent base now. He says it stinks- literally stinks there. I will take his word on that.
Though, he said the food has been great. He had steak and crab legs the other night...as Mr. Manx said...war is hell. Honestly, it probably is some days since he said some guy in his unit had his leg gravely injured recently so they were on "blackout" meaning no communication until the family is notified.
So if they give those guys some steak and crab legs, I know they certainly could use it. He sounded like he was doing well though, adjusting to his new existence.
It gives incredible relief every time we get a call like this. Just to hear from him.

Off to go shopping for more baby stuff. I keep dreaming of all this stuff at night- it's wearing me out! heh

Pregnancy dreams.

I kept having the same vivid dream come back again and again last night. Given that I have to get up about 10 times a night to use the bathroom, I'm amazed that I can even fall back asleep, much less drift into the same dream.

I dreamed my husband, who I will refer to as Mr. Manx, and his dad were sent to Iraq. They had been there for 4 months and came home for a very short visit and had to leave again for 2 months. We didn’t know if they would be back home in time for the delivery since they might have to stay longer. While parts of the "reunion" were quite good, (no details, you'll have to use your imagination for that part) the parting was just awful. I kept crying and feeling the most terrible pain, fear, desperation.

I kept trying to get myself to quit dreaming about it but it did no good- it just kept coming back every time I fell asleep again sort of picking up like a story would every time I got back to sleep. The dream finally ended with Mr. Manx and his unit staying at Mr. Manx's dad's house on their last night (why, I have no clue) but he couldn't stay with me and I couldn't stay at the house- something about their unit needing to all be together or some stupid shit like that. I ended with me running down a bunch of steps and crying (pregnant- running down steps) why it's our last night- why? I finally woke myself up and could see a bit of light outside so just tried to stay awake. Man, was I happy to be awake.

I know this has a lot to do with my bro. He is probably in Iraq now- he's in the army and was sent over a couple weeks ago and has been training in Afghanistan. Last word was that he was shipping out within 2 days - and it's been over 2 days.

I wish I could shake the feelings my dream gave me but it just creeps back off and on- there's no shaking what I feel when I think of my bro over there though. Guess this is just my mind's way of dealing with fears, etc. and processing all this stuff.

One good thing is that I seem to have put the diet thing in perspective - for now, at least. Maybe when a far worse potential reality appears, it makes your current one seem much more tolerable.

I will probably be very clingy with mr manx tonight, but I doubt he will care. I'm not a super clingy person (I don't think anyway) so I'm sure he'll appreciate any extra attention.

Trials of being pregnant.

Well, I guess my significant "other" got sick of me commenting on blogs as anonymous or "h" so he decided to set up a blog for me one night after partying at a bar. Drunk bloggin on my behalf (since I can't do the drunk blogging right now)

I wasn't sure if I wanted to have to tend to this but he did a nice job posting favorite pictures and things that represent my interests. I know I wouldn’t have taken the time to do it right now. I think part of his reasoning is that I've been a stressing fool lately and it might be a good outlet. Maybe he thinks I could find some pregnant woman with issues support group…or those with similar issues.

Anyway, on to blogging...I am officially in my third trimester of my first pregnancy as of today. I was recently diagnosed with gestational diabetes and have been having a really hard time accepting this and am very angry with my body and with the medical community at the moment.
Things are sinking in more. I just think they might be overreacting a bit since my blood sugar levels aren't that high and the dietician said I wouldn’t have even been considered GD years ago and probably would have just had a 9 lb baby. They've lowered the numbers as a preventative.

I guess this diagnosis and now lifestyle change is good in two ways:
First, I am overweight. No matter how lovely my husband says I am and no matter how short and petite I am, I am still overweight. I like food and I can't metabolize it as quickly as other people. Plus, I'm very short so I don't need to eat as much as those around me and I realize I have been eating too much (something I'm quickly learning from my new diet).

What this diet is doing is making me check portion sizes, eat from certain food groups and level my carbs through the day in hopes of keeping my blood sugar stable.

I am now at risk for "the real" diabetes (type 2) later in life so this scares me a lot…I mean A LOT. So…I am somewhat thankful that this will give me serious motivation to lose weight after the baby and I now have a dietician to help me do this. She seems to think I will soon be an expert on food and will inherently know if I am eating a balanced, healthy meal. I hope she's right and I hope I don't cheat too often. I doubt I will while I'm pregnant but it's after that baby that concerns me.
The pregnancy is what is causing my diabetes so I should be able to go back to my previous semi-healthy, but not nearly as healthy, lifestyle probably an hour after I have the baby! Pizza and coke…that's what I am telling myself is my reward for giving birth (Besides a beautiful baby…not that I don't think of that part!)

So…I hope this will help me get to an ideal weight and lower my chances of developing type 2 diabetes and probably a whole bunch of other health problems.

Second, I will know absolutely and completely that I am eating well for my unborn child with this diet. I will also get more attention from my doctor's office, who sometimes takes 2 days to call me back about potentially serious things. I now have a direct line to the nurse and dietician and they have called me more that I have called them for a change. I hope things aren't more invasive (than they already are) but I am glad that I might have more opportunities to have someone tell me my little baby is doing well.

I hope she is…I really do. In the grand scheme of things these three months of finger pricking, eating by the clock and specially designed diets will be a brief moment in time. I am just frustrated with the stress it's causing me and hope this doesn't counteract all the other work I'm doing.

Anyway, I don't know if this is a long first blog or if anyone besides my two close friends will read this but I guess I have it now and should use it from time to time.

I'd imagine it will reflect a lot of my thoughts on being pregnant and having a baby but this is a very life changing event and there really is nothing to compare to it right now.

Welcome, friends.