Thursday, March 20, 2008

Mom observations

I spent a good portion of this morning thinking about how connected I feel to the Earth and to my fellow animals by my ability to produce milk. Just the thought of producing this wonderful life-sustaining "liquid gold" as I call it just blows me away.
I have always observed connections in my life. Maybe an object that I see over and over with symbolic meaning, maybe a word, whatever...this connection is unlike anything I have experienced so far. I know we are animals- but so often, being human feels so separate from the animal world. It is just this feeling that I am in no better, no worse than any other mammal.
Even the awareness of what I put in my body right now is magnified. What I ingest is given to my child so I still load up on fruits and veggies and watch the not so good things that I could eat or drink.
It's just such a primitive and natural feeling...with primitive having no negative or "lower" meaning.

It 's like I'm filled with this wonder for life- like I am seeing the world, even in a small way, through my child's eyes. Also, I have observed that when things slow down- either by tragedy or through joy...just something life-changing- things just seem to slow down and you get a chance to really see. To notice your connection to the world around you, and also, that sometimes life really can and does go on without you.
I noticed this so much after our house fire. I had never come so close to death. I watched those around us dig out the charred remains of our belongings trying to salvage anything of sentimental value to us. It may sound cryptic, but the fire chief said, had we been in bed (it started in our bedroom) we would have sat up, maybe realized something was wrong and then passed out from carbon monoxide. This shook me so much because we had a window, literally ,a foot away from the bed, but he said it wouldn't have mattered. Life was never the same after learning this and seeing what I saw.
I saw all that would have been left of our life- of us...I guess what people would have been able to pull out- our stuff. During this, I had that slow down and saw the most amazing connections. For example, the only book that was really not charred just fell off the charred book case- it was called "birth of the phoenix" To me, this really told me that we did have a new life to begin- however difficult it would be to begin again.
I honestly have not been the same person since that whole experience. I went through a very deep, very long depression and through a lot of soul searching.

Maybe this is why I am able to share. To see new life and absolute joy is just indescribable. It is also amazing to see the same sort of interconnectedness with the world around me. I am making an effort to keep this slowed down energy in me so my life doesn't just pass me.

listen out

We are totally hooked on Project Runway now. If you were into it as well this year then you will be familiar with the winner, Christian's use of the word "fierce"
I'm just waiting for the word "fierce" to be the new "in" word. I already heard it on a phone commercial- who knows if there's any connection
We'll see though...

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

When did the Cheetos cheetah become so creepy?

http://www.slate.com/id/2186601/?GT1=38001

I was just commenting on this last night. Guess someone else noticed too.
While this person likes the new Chester cheetah, I think it's getting rather creepy