Waiting Game

Been having mild contractions since Tuesday. They informed me that my contractions were 5 minutes apart when I was on the monitor and I didn't even realize I was having them. The doctor really thought I was going to have the baby soon.
Three days have passed now and some of the contractions have gotten stronger and I'm a little more uncomfortable but nothing yet. I kind of regret knowing that I started having those contractions because time is passing so so slowly.
I have had little "freak outs" where I'll look around the house and see how disgusting it is and will then have to start cleaning like a mad woman...yes, I sound like a typical 9+ month pregnant woman. The house really was bad though since I have been unable to do much from being so sick- but it is slowly getting clean. Now my attitude about bed rest is- screw it! I'm going to clean and shop and walk and whatever else as long as I feel comfortable because I know this will help get things moving. I'm resting and monitoring things.
I think part of my little "freak out" episodes is this overwhelming anxiety about labor and about being a parent. Bringing in a newborn into this house and being responsible for it just seems overwhelming sometimes. Though, just recently babies on TV- especially little newborns are looking really cute to me and I sometimes daydream about her laying next to me on the couch. I am thinking this has to be all a part of the prep work my body and mind is doing right now.
I had not anticipated having to miss so much work and keep trying to tell myself that things will be okay. I probably should have gone in today but the contractions were actually painful enough to keep me up a lot of last night so I only got a few hours sleep- this seems to be what has gotten me into trouble (meaning in the hospital) so I thought it best to play it safe and stay home. Plus, I was (and still sort of am) in the pissiest of moods today. It's like, I was up off and on last night feeling so crummy and wondering if it was time yet and then boom...it just subsides. Grrr...
So I am napping off and on today and cleaning the house. Carpet in the baby's room will be installed on Monday so at least I can focus on decorating the nursery if I haven't had her by then. That is one thing I am really looking forward to.
Man, it still gets me that I am going to be a parent literally any day now. We'll all just have to learn together. Maybe I should be reading baby books and stuff but I'm just not interested right now. I think we'll have help from friends and family as we need it and we'll just take things day by day at first and will do the best we can. We've taken baby classes and I have plenty of magazines around the house (seems like every class gave us tons of literature and we got a huge packet when we registered!)
Ah.. back to cleaning. Contractions come on every time I get up and move now so it makes me feel productive in a number of ways!!